


Maybe Have a Lurk

by killerweasel



Series: Friends in Low Places [6]
Category: Good Omens (TV Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23161960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: "You don't like me. I don't like you."
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Hastur/Ligur (Good Omens)
Series: Friends in Low Places [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1654894
Comments: 2
Kudos: 69





	Maybe Have a Lurk

Title: Maybe Have a Lurk  
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)  
Characters: Crowley, Hastur  
Pairings: Aziraphale/Crowley, Hastur/Ligur  
Word Count: 733  
Rating: G  
A/N: After Episode 6.  
Summary: "You don't like me. I don't like you."

Crowley felt a familiar demonic presence in the doorway of the greenhouse and whirled around, ready for a fight. "Nope. You are going to get the Heaven out of here, Hastur, or I will make you bleed."

"If the Prince of Hell is permitted to move freely on your property, the same should apply to Dukes." Hastur made no effort to move from where he was standing. "I hear you're allowing Archangels to visit too."

"They're here for Gabriel. I highly doubt you want to pay him a visit." He crossed his arms over his chest. "You're starting to make my greenhouse stink."

"Coming was Beelzebub's suggestion. Something about how I 'need to relax before she skins me alive and lets the flies have some fun'." He made a face. "This is your fault for killing Ligur."

"I thought Ligur came back after the reboot and my trial was for the act even though he was still alive." Which Crowley sortof understood, even though the entire thing had been stupid (at least he'd had a trial, unlike Aziraphale).

"He's still stuck as a chameleon. He hasn't recovered enough to manipulate his corporation properly yet." Hastur sighed. "Haven't been able to do a cemetery lurk in ages, grabbing trapped souls from rotting corporations isn't as much fun without him, and I keep destroying Disposable Demons if they come anywhere near me, but killing them has gotten boring."

"You don't like me. I don't like you." Crowley moved across the greenhouse, keeping a bit of distance between them. "I can't picture you wading into the pond to relax like Beelzebub and the Archangels do. However, and I can't believe I'm saying this, there's a very old cemetery not far from here. Maybe we could do a lurk tonight."

Hastur gave him a suspicious look. "Is this some kind of trick? I'll tear your heart out and eat it while you watch."

"No trick." Crowley ran a hand through his hair. "I suck at lurking, you know that. Never been my thing, but maybe that'll help you take the edge off."

"You've always been too much a flash bastard to be able to lurk properly. You look far more human than the rest of us." The suspicious look had grown. "Why would you even want to do something like that with me?"

Crowley shrugged. "As long as you don't try to murder or harm me while we're out, I'll do the same. If I don't come up with something, you're going to get tortured for being your usual asshole self, and even if I completely hated you, it seems a bit much."

Hastur blinked and then blinked again. It wasn't a smile that appeared on his face, the only time he ever smiled was when he was hurting someone or if he was with Ligur, but it was the closest thing he was capable of. "Fine." He shifted from foot to foot. "We've got hours before the sun sets. Should I just come back or...?"

"Well, you can come inside and Aziraphale will more than likely make you something to eat because that's the way he is, you can help me with my plants, or you can wander around the cottage. Just don't destroy anything or burn anything to the ground." Crowley waited, curious as to what Hastur would choose.

"Don't really feel comfortable hanging around angels. Guess I'll stay here." He spotted a chair by the wall and sat down. "Don't know anything about plants either, so I'll just watch."

"Want to scream at some of them? Those roses have been seriously slacking off and should have bloomed by now." Crowley narrowed his eyes at the offending flowers. "Sometimes they need to be reminded to **grow better**!" The roses began to tremble. "Go ahead, give it a try. Think of it as a lighter form of discorporating something."

"I can taste their fear. You're _torturing_ them. I didn't know you had it in you, Crowley." Getting to his feet, Hastur walked over to where Crowley was standing.

"This is nothing compared to what I used to do to the ones in my old flat." He stepped to the side. "Go ahead, have at it." Crowley watched with an amused look on his face as Hastur began to shout at the plants. Even if the cemetery lurk didn't go well, they were certainly enjoying themselves now.


End file.
